Conflict Resolution: Tips and Techniques
At the 2022 Green Party of Ontario Annual General Meeting, it was CultureAlly’s pleasure to host a workshop on Conflict Resolution. In this blog post, we review the key points of the session and provide links to further learning and additional resources.
In the spirit of reconciliation, we began the workshop and begin this blog post with a land acknowledgement. CultureAlly is a fully remote company with employees all across what is now called Canada.
We recognize and honour the ancestral lands, and the Indigenous people that lived and continue to live on them. We encourage everyone to visit native-land.ca and whose.land to learn the histories of the First Peoples of your area. Additionally, we hope to honour reconciliation by including Indigenous perspectives on healing after conflict.
What is conflict?
Conflict can be defined as a clash in interest, opinion, or even principles, but to draw a clear connection with that, the workshop opened with an activity called “Nothing, Something, Anything!”. For this activity, participants partner up, and as with “Rock, Paper, Scissors”, say “nothing, something, anything!” and then immediately say – well, anything!
Participants then debate each other as to why their item or thing would “beat” the other person’s item or thing. After a couple of minutes, a brief pause is called, and the participants switch to a dialogue – they must now reach a consensus about which item or thing would win.
This activity showcases the difference between conflict and collaboration. One is argumentative, combative, and closed-minded, whereas the other is characterized by active listening, open-mindedness, and asking thoughtful questions. Differences in interest, opinion and principles can happen in a workplace, but there is always the possibility of turning even a debate into a productive dialogue that leads to growth and learning.
An example of a situation that can lead to conflict is micro-aggressions. Micro-aggressions are the everyday slights, indignities, put-downs and insults that members of equity-seeking groups experience in their day-to-day interactions with individuals who may be unaware that they have engaged in an offensive or demeaning way.
As the person being micro-aggressed against or as an ally witnessing a micro-aggression in action, here is a list of prepared statements for responding to micro-aggressions. No matter which approach is used, it is important not to make the micro aggressor feel like they are under attack; ask questions, but don’t make accusations.
It can also be helpful to have open conversations with coworkers about inappropriate comment(s); this helps everyone to know the behaviour is not okay.
Responding to microaggressions or other conflicts can take the form of calling people out or calling people in. When we call people out, we are publicly challenging their words or actions, usually with the intent of exposing wrongdoing. On the other hand, when we call people in, it’s an invitation to a 1:1 setting or a small group to educate with kindness.
Typically, we will call someone out when we need to put a stop to or prevent further harm from unacceptable words, actions or behaviours, and we will call someone in when there is a chance to learn in a conversation characterized by reflection rather than reaction.
If you find that you have been called in, or called out, recognize that this is a learning moment. Take the opportunity to listen to what the other person has to say, and believe them when they tell you how it made them feel. Acknowledge the impact your words or actions had, even if you did not intend for that to happen, and repair the harm done.
If you see conflict happening, always consider both your physical and psychological safety, but if there is a chance to be an ally, consider using one or some of the 5D’s of Bystander Intervention (Distract, Delegate, Document, Delay, Direct).
And after conflict, always consider the healing process; this toolkit from the Nokiwiin Tribal Council has excellent recommendations (Respect, Inclusiveness, Accountability, Reparation, and Restoration) from an Indigenous perspective that can be kept in mind.