Tolerance vs Acceptance
Imagine: You’re in a meeting, and someone says, ‘We tolerate everyone here.’ It sounds pretty good, right? But does it feel good?
Tolerance certainly suggests an absence of conflict, but it doesn’t necessarily create a sense of belonging. It’s a start, but it often leaves people feeling like they’re being put up with, rather than welcomed.
On the other hand, acceptance moves beyond tolerance. It means seeing people for who they are, valuing their unique perspectives, and creating a space where everyone feels welcome, no questions asked. So how do we shift from tolerating to fully embracing diversity in our workplace?
In this article, we explore:
What is Tolerance?
To put it simply, tolerance refers to the way we may endure the differences between individuals, ideally without overt judgment or interference.
Tolerance is often championed as a way to handle differences that arise between team members. Whether it’s cultural backgrounds, personal beliefs, or identities, tolerance is practiced to maintain the status quo and prevent interruptions.
While this approach sounds generally positive, people practicing tolerance are not required to build connections with individuals they are tolerating, nor do they need to genuinely accept them. By merely tolerating those around us, we may create an atmosphere where people feel they are just barely accepted, rather than truly valued for the diversity of their experiences, culture, or beliefs.
What kind of atmosphere does that create?
Tolerance can cultivate an atmosphere of distance and formality, and coworkers may feel cautious about expressing their true selves.
4. Resentment and/or Tension
5. Awkward Interactions
6. Lack of Team Cohesion
Ultimately, this could lead to:
Surface-Level Interactions
Emotional Detachment
Missed Opportunities for Growth
The Limits of Tolerance
At a glance, tolerance sounds like a solid approach to building diversity in your workplace. After all, tolerating someone can be a respectful practice. However, when we are only focused on tolerance we risk creating an environment where diversity is acknowledged but never fully embraced.
Here are some key limitations of tolerance:
Passivity: While tolerance implies a level of respect across relationships, it is a passive process. It requires no outreach, actions, and often causes differences to exist in the background unacknowledged instead of becoming an invitation to learn from others.
Failure to Address Inequities: Tolerance does not challenge the underlying biases and systemic inequities, as it doesn’t require deeper reflection and can cause us to normalize and uphold problematic practices.
Limits Team Growth: Without encouragement to engage with diverse ideas, teams may miss out on valuable perspectives, innovation, and creativity.
What is Acceptance?
Acceptance is defined with a number of key differences. Unlike tolerance, acceptance recognizes the differences between people (i.e. ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation) and moves past endurance and into mutual respect, appreciation and, ultimately, equity.
Rather than being “tolerated” or “endured”, a space of acceptance, people are encouraged to see one another as individuals rather than groups built upon differences. This requires a certain level of awareness, interest, and engagement with others, inviting employees to approach diversity with curiosity rather than caution.
When team members feel acceptance is prioritized in their workplace, they may:
Feel as if they belong at work, regardless of the environment or differences between coworkers.
Create deeper, more meaningful relationships and bonds with coworkers.
Become more comfortable sharing and expressing their true selves.
Adopt a sense of safety within the workplace.
This kind of acceptance-focused work culture doesn’t just create a positive atmosphere, it enhances team collaboration, cohesion, and problem-solving abilities.
How to Move Towards Acceptance
One of the biggest challenges of embracing acceptance at work is navigating how to respectfully and meaningfully acknowledge and celebrate the traditions, holidays, and events of diverse cultures without unintentionally causing discomfort or reinforcing stereotypes.
1. Acknowledge Complexity
To start, it’s important to recognize that cultural traditions require balance and intentionality. When you are working towards celebrations for other cultures, you can avoid further harm by consulting first-voice sources to find out how their traditions are honored, including best practices as well as stereotypes to avoid.
It’s also important to realize that not all members of a specific cultural group celebrate in the same way. There are often a multitude of ways to celebrate without losing sight of the importance of the celebration itself. For example, while Christmas is celebrated across many, many countries, they each have unique traditions associated with the holiday that don’t inherently change the heart of the holiday.
Ideally, if you are able to gain insight and feedback from employees, it should be done in a one-to-one meeting, feedback forms, or surveys, and without overly placing the burden of representation on individuals or making them feel singled out for their identity.
2. Educate and Celebrate
Within the act of celebrating, we are given the unique opportunity to educate the broader team by creating spaces where learning and appreciation is encouraged.
For example, if you’re hosting a potluck for Diwali, include an explanation on its significance and traditions in a place everyone can see.
3. Think Outside the Box!
When it comes to celebrations for marginalized groups, we typically imagine cultural or religious events and holidays. However, there are other kinds of celebrations around less visible differences, such as:
👉 Pride Month (June 1-June 30)
👉 Native American Heritage Month (November 1 - November 30)
👉 If employees are comfortable, celebrating life events, such as retirement.
4. Encourage Feedback
We can’t expect everything to go perfectly, especially when it’s our first time celebrating. Instead, it’s important to embrace mistakes as opportunities to learn, grow, and improve for the future. Here are some ways to do just that:
➡️Promptly Address and Apologize for Missteps
If there is a specific activity or holiday that has been misrepresented (e.g. using stereotypes or incorrect information), acknowledge the mistake publicly, issue a genuine apology, and provide step-by-step information on how it will be corrected in the future.
➡️Engage in Open Dialogue
After an event has been celebrated, it can be helpful to create a space for employees to share their thoughts, should they feel comfortable. This can be anonymous surveys and/or focus groups to gather a variety of perspectives.
➡️Seek External Guidance
One great way to make sure you’re celebrating holidays without misrepresenting them is to provide observance day training via a first-voice consultant. This way, future celebrations will be accurate and reflect the culture or specific background they come from.
What Are Some Common Missteps on the Road to Acceptance?
When we are working towards acceptance, organizations often face challenges that can derail their efforts. Here are some common issues:
Overgeneralizing Cultural Identities
The Problem: Assuming that all members of specific cultural groups celebrate their identities in the same way.
The Solution: Recognize diversity within groups by engaging directly with employees or first-voice consultants, rather than making assumptions.
Participating in Tokenism
The Problem: Highlighting diversity in a performative way, such as hosting one-time events with zero follow-through. Or, alternatively, only acknowledging marginalized groups during designated awareness months.
The Solution: To rectify this, commit to year-round inclusivity initiatives and integrate diverse voices into decision-making roles.
A Lack of Follow-Through
The Problem: An organization might collect feedback from employees but fail to act upon it, disappointing and frustrating their workforce.
The Solution: Treat feedback as the valuable, critical resource that it is. Once feedback is received and reviewed, share updates with the rest of the team, and encourage open, honest dialogue without judgment or punishment. Avoid just ticking boxes—close the loop.
Sustaining An Acceptance-Oriented Workplace
It is important to remember that acceptance cannot be treated as a one-time initiative. Rather, it’s a core aspect of creating safe workplace culture. But what can we do to make it stick?
1. Regular Policy and Procedure Reviews
Conduct annual reviews of policies and procedures to check for inclusivity and restrictions to diversity.
Example: Update gendered language, such as replacing “chairman” with “chair”, or incorporate pronouns into your email signature template.
2. Diversity Audits
Conduct annual or bi-annual audits to review, in detail, how inclusive your organization is and identify gaps and areas for improvement.
Example: Working with outside consultants, create and distribute anonymous surveys to employees to gather insights into their experiences and perceptions of inclusivity.
3. Continued Education
Offer resources such as eLearning modules or virtual training to keep inclusivity in mind.
Example: An office hosts quarterly Lunch & Learn sessions on specific topics that affect your workplace, such as unconscious bias or inclusive hiring.
4. Don’t Forget to Celebrate Progress
Establish and acknowledge milestones in your journey towards acceptance! This helps employees understand their efforts matter.
Example: Share updates on DEI initiatives, effective cultural celebrations, and employee satisfaction.
Reflecting on Acceptance
Creating a work culture rooted in acceptance takes time, intentionality, and a willingness to make mistakes and learn from them continuously. It means we must recognize the limitations of tolerance and strive to push past them to actively celebrate, respect, and value diversity.
As you reflect on your acceptance efforts, ask yourself: Am I tolerating differences, or am I building acceptance that will improve collaboration and growth for the organization?